When bad things happen

So I'm upset right now. This has led to a few things I didn't know about myself:

I'm more likely to make bad decisions in terms of things I say and actions when upset rather than drunk. Also, when I get really, really upset, I try not to show it at all. I just try to not talk and not communicate it at all.

-sigh- my stupid, awful, amazing and difficult life has taken yet another turn for the worse-right-now, better-a-lot-later.

I'll give you details later.

Musically fickle

http://www.divshare.com/download/6529417-d8a

I'm a ridiculous person. Reason posted on this blog #1:

I go through random obsessive phases of music. They can last an hour, a day, a week, or if it's really special, a few weeks. I'll just listen to the same artist/album over and over again whenever I listen to music, and it's like heaven. This past day, I've listened almost exclusively to Joanna Newsom, and that song is one of the day's favorites.

Musical obsessees of the past week: Regina Spektor (one day), Ildebrando Pizzetti's Requiem (one week along with...), Verdi's Requiem (a week and a half).

Sometimes it's startling to think about how empty my life would be without music.

Happy beautiful day!

"Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression or winter blues, is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter or, less frequently, in the summer,^[1] repeatedly, year after year. The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up."^[2] The condition in the summer is often referred to as Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, and can also include heightened anxiety.^[3]"

^-Wikipedia

^{I think everybody in the United States suffers from some degree of SAD, since just about everyone is just happier when it's sunny, warm and dry outside. Today was wonderful. Thank you mother nature!}

^{P.S. I'm falling in love with really dark, saturated greens that tend towards blue but not yellow. Mmmmm....}

PS

This layout will be much more original and interesting soon. I just have to ask Dan how to jazz up this place.

The beginning of something... average?

So I really wish that my life were more interesting. Bahia went to Korea, Steph is in Kolkata, Dan has his pretentious music and all that marriage crap. Everybody has some kind of excitement in their lives, driving them forward and making them feel alive.

Me? I work in a coffee shop, am learning proper musicianship with singing, am a first-year RA, work with clay in all its forms, am events coordinator for my campus's gay-straight alliance and am in general just a ridiculous person trudging through the work of your first few years of college. Just work, meetings, studio time, practice, rehearsal, more meetings, more work, eat, sleep, boring death.

I'm determined to do something amazing with my life. I won't settle for mediocrity. Ever.

I think just the way I'm turning out as a person is evidence enough of that: a gay tenor who makes coffee, pottery, photographs, glass castings and overinvolves himself in almost everything on campus. Most people think I'm a theatre major from my obnoxious, larger-than-life persona, and those who don't know better say I'm good at some things, and in general, I'm a pretty big kind of person.

But I'm just your average overworked college student in the middle of Illinois, working on two fine and performing arts degrees.

I swear, someday soon, I'll do something exciting.

Here's a video for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHhEs5DAVQ4